Is Same-Sex Marriage Right?

By: Eppy Halili Gochangco

I decided to forego the usual question-and-answer format this time as I was invited by Dean Amado Valdez of the College of Law of the University of the East to attend a symposium on same-sex marriage.  The title of the symposium was Same-sex marriage: Is it right?  It was sponsored by the Integrated Bar of the Philippines (IBP), the Rotary Club of Manila (RCM), and the University of the East College of Law and held last Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day, at the JBL Reyes Hall of the IBP Bldg., Ortigas Center.

I found this symposium interesting and would like to share the experience with all of you.

Reactors present were from different fields and there were lawyers, religious leaders from different beliefs, and a guidance counselor presenting data from psychological researchers.  The way I understood it was that the religious leaders were very much against same-sex marriage.  However, some were explaining that the person should not be condemned for being a homosexual.  What must be condemned is the act of homosexuality. 

One of the participants reacted aggressively to this statement.  I was not able to catch the name of this person and his religious affiliation.  But he was wearing a pastoral’s outfit.  He is gay married to a man.  He could not understand how people could separate the act of homosexuality from the person who is a homosexual.  He believes that the homosexual is one with his actions.

One male member of the audience came forward and introduced himself as a productive citizen, earning for himself.  He later admitted that he’s gay and married to a male.  Both he and his partner are productive and financially stable.  This man added that he had tried marrying a female but had failed.  He insisted that there was nothing much he could do but accept that he is gay and that he is meant to love another man.  This man became very emotional.  I could sense that he was already tired from the impositions of the world about how he should be as a man.

I can’t help but perceive that the issue of same-sex marriage may not necessarily mean that this is just an issue for the same-sex couple.  It could mean more than that.  We live in a judging world.  This is a world where the super powers dictate on how the less powerful should live their lives.  There are the authoritarians controlling the lives of everyone.

The white men enslaved the black men.  Later on, the black men stood up for their rights.  In the end, because of the determination of the black men to fight for their freedom, they were given equal rights like all men. 

Men overpowered the women, too.  Just like the black man, the women started fighting for equal rights.  Again, determination overpowered the powerful men and gave women their equal rights.  The black men, now called African Americans, are now equal to white men.  Women have equal rights, too, because they fought for these.

Now, the voices of the homosexual individuals (both men and women) are becoming louder and louder.  What I hear are homosexuals standing up and asking the superpower called the heterosexuals this question, May I live my life the way I want to? But the heterosexuals say, No, you may not.  It is not normal and you must follow. Just as the white men had to battle the black men, the men had to battle the women; the heterosexuals will now have to contend with the homosexuals.  Like women and the black men, the more the homosexuals will get equal rights, the more they will feel strongly about what they think they deserve because they are human beings, too.

Same-sex marriage is not only about what is right or wrong.  Same-sex marriage is only part of the process homosexuals have to go through to get an equal share of what life can give.  They are asking to have the same sunlight shining on their faces as the heterosexuals have and the same shade to go under when the sun is too strong. 

Honestly, I think the homosexuals and the heterosexuals do not understand each other.  When the homosexuals ask for equality, the religious and the moralists start fearing that there may not be any heterosexuals anymore one day.  Then the human specie will be no more because there will be no heterosexuals to procreate. 

Just as there will always be a homosexual, there will always be a heterosexual.  Everyone has nothing to fear.  In the end, we all have to live in peace and accept that everyone has rights and no one should think that they should have more than those who are different from them.